“Blaine, your father passed away today.”
“What?” Blaine’s mouth falls open and he very nearly laughs. The man who tormented him and the love of his life for years is gone, never to be seen again. Something deep inside Blaine stops him from laughing, however. Maybe it’s the look on Kurt’s face. Maybe it’s the way his fiancé’s voice broke when he delivered the news. Maybe it’s the fact that even though he and his father had been separated for years, the man had still raised him, even if that had been a poor attempt as well. Whatever it is, Blaine closes his mouth and sits back down at his desk, the weight put on his shoulders no longer able to be supported by his legs.
He can’t bring himself to cry, at least not for the man who treated him so poorly through the last part of his life. No, instead the tears fall for the way the relationship came to an end, in a bout of rage that would never be resolved. The tears fell for the way he and Kurt’s relationship had come to be tattered and nearly dissolved because of his own selfish feelings towards his parents. The tears fall from weeks of pent up frustration and hurt and guilt.
Blaine doesn’t make a move to wipe away the tears; just crosses his fingers together in front of his face much like one would when they’re praying, except Blaine isn’t praying. He’s wishing (yes, if you ask Blaine, there’s a difference). He’s wishing for the strength to get through this. He’s wishing this won’t be the straw that breaks his and Kurt’s backs as a couple. He’s wishing that whatever higher power is out there, that they’ll watch out over his mother because no matter how absent she was in Blaine’s life, no one deserves to lose their significant other.
Silent sobs shake Blaine’s shoulders as he dips his head, listening as the tears that run down his face splash against the mahogany wood of the desk. The only other sound in the room is Kurt’s shaky breathing. Kurt. The other man had been entrusted to tell Blaine what could only be defined as life-changing news. Blaine wasn’t the only one shouldering the burden, but here he was again, being completely selfish, and only thinking of himself. It was something he had done for years, something he was desperately trying to change. No time like the present, Anderson. Today proves you can lose someone at any moment of any day. Life isn’t a guarantee, it’s a privilege.
Standing up, Blaine draws in an unsteady breath, moving over to his fiancé—his wonderful, perfect, amazing fiancé—and wraps his arms around Kurt’s neck. “Kurt…I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been horrible to you the past couple weeks. I’ve completely taken you for granted, even though that’s the last thing you’ve deserved.” Resting his forehead against the slightly taller man’s temple, Blaine closes his eyes and continues to speak. “Please forgive me.” Right now, the last thing on Blaine’s mind is his father, and perhaps that’s wrong or inappropriate, but he knows that if he doesn’t have Kurt, he won’t be able to survive the weight of the world pressing him down into the ground.
I’m so, so sorry. The words are laden with every emotion imaginable, their depth echoing that of Kurt’s own. Is it true that from sorrow can be born the seeds of happiness? The pressure of Blaine’s forehead against his own seemed to righten all the wrongs of the past months. It was as if he had been viewing the world through a tilted lens, now centered in the wake of them finding their way back to each other. After all, hadn’t they always? It was only a matter of time. “Blaine. Believe me when I say it’s okay? You had the pressure of the world on your shoulders, as well as the disappointment of your family. If you want to hear me say it, I forgive you. I love you,” He breathed lightly into his fiancé’s ear, a sob catching in his throat. “Nothing will ever have the power to change that.”
Kurt pressed his own lips softly against Blaine’s. It was not a kiss meant for passion, but one of reassurance and support, both for his father’s death and the future of their relationship. Pulling away, Kurt gently smoothed Blaine’s curls away from his forehead, his other hand catching free falling tears. “Everything is going to be alright. I promise you that. Can you promise me this in return? That we will face this together? I want you to know that I want to shoulder these burdens with you. I want us to support each other, no matter what the obstacle,” he said softly, a breath hitching quietly on ‘us.’ The word had long lost it’s meaning in their relationship, something he longed to acquire once more, if not stronger than before.
“I’ll be there to catch you when you fall, Blaine. That will never change.” The words were a mere whisper, their meaning pure. A finger gently brushed away a stray curl that had fallen loose in his fiance’s face. “But as for your dad uh- well your mother called no more than an hour ago,” Kurt explained, his eyes glancing at the old clock on the wall. “How do I put this. Blaine, she didn’t explain any of it. She just told me to tell you that he had passed.” Kurt took a deep breath before continuing, hesitation evident in his eyes. “She didn’t even mention you by name.” His last words came out strained under the emotion in his voice. Dealing with Blaine’s parents had always thrown the luck of his relationship with his father into excruciating light.
“You’ll call her, right? Despite your father’s different way of thinking, I think we should go to the memorial service. Show our support in the light of past events?” The offer hung still in the air. Though the answer seemed obvious, Kurt knew that the past might sway Blaine’s opinion. After all, it was clear that there was no love lost between them as the years widened the chasm in their relationship. “I think that it would be healthy, Blaine. Perhaps it would even allow you to begin to heal? I mean, in the end it’s your decision…” He let the sentence drop off, his own eyes searching Blaine’s warm brown ones.
“Forgiveness is the final form of love, Blaine.”